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Akpors, his Oga and Madam

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PostHazard on Fri 27 May 2016, 1:50 am

Akpos who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga's room, drinks his wine and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called
pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour if water is added into it.

Akpos unaware of this, sneaks into his Oga's room, drank the new
wine and added water on it. Immediately it started changing colour.

Akpos: I am in trouble, big trouble. He ran to the kitchen. Meanwhile,
Oga and madam were sitted in the parlour, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
OGA: Akpos

Akpos: Oga

OGA: who drank my pasties?

(No answer)

OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?.

(No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.)

OGA: Are you insane or what?. Why when i call, you say "Oga" but when i ask you a question you don't answer me.

Akpos: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don't understand anything, except your name.

OGA: Is that so?. Okay go to the parlour, stand beside madam and ask me a question while i stand

(Akpos went and did what oga said.)

Akpos: Ogaaaaaa

OGA: Yes Akpos

Akpos: Who goes into the maid's bedroom when madam is not at home?

(No answer.)

Akpos: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no
dey house.

(No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.)

OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear
anything, except one's name.

MADAM: That's not true. It's a lie.

Akpos: Madam, do you want to be tested?


Akpos: Oya enter the kitchen

(She enters.)

Akpos: Madam

MADAM: Yes Akpos

Akpos: Who is Junior's biological Father? Me or Oga

(Madam rushed out of the kitchen)

MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, I can't understand anything at all.

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PostHazard on Fri 27 May 2016, 1:56 am

Akpos has been admiring his
neighbor's wife. The neighbor's wife always gives him this seductive smile whenever they
greet each other. Akpos didn't know how to approach the lady to tell her of his desires because she was married.

So, one day the lady herself approached Akpors alone in his apartment.



AKPOS: Is everything alright?

LADY: Yes. Just need little help from you

(Smiling seductively).

AKPOS: Wow! Anything for the angel.

LADY: I...I...I...just don't know how to say this. I'll be so ashamed of myself if I ask and you say no.

AKPOS: Oh my lady. you don't have to. I am ready to do anything for you.

LADY: You know, it's been over 3 weeks since my husband travelled...

AKPOS: Yes! Yes! Yes!

LADY: And even when he's around, he has some... (pause for a while) he has some disabilities...

AKPOS: Oh poor you... You must have been going through hell!

LADY: I know you'll be stronger than him...

AKPOS: Sure.

LADY: Can you help me?

AKPOS: Wow! Now? Sure,
I'm ready if you are ready.

LADY: Oh thanks goodness! that's why I came to you. Can you help me carry our deep freezer from our kitchen to the next street for repairs?

Akpos nearly Cried!!!

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